Category Archives for News
Writer’s Block.
I have one. Send your hate-mail to Raunchy Contacts and my personal assistant Deirdre will send you her panties. She’s very clean.
A Song About A Broken Cunt.
Happy New Year Motherfuckers! I hope you all die of gonorrhea! On a brighter note: Lily Allen is about to give birth! Yes, a second creature will pop out of the womb of the only woman who, at least in … Continue reading
Hating Was Never This Much Fun.
Charlie Brooker is back. After his extremely profane (so extremely funny) books “Screen Burn”, “Dawn Of The Dumb” and “The Hell Of It All”, I am now enjoying his new read “I Can Make You Hate”. Read it. Hating was … Continue reading
RAUNCHY MIKE’S INCREDIBLE ANNIVERSARY CONTEST!!!
This unbiased, independent and romantic website is celebrating its first anniversary this month, fuck yeah! So far we have been able to avoid any lawsuits or suicide attacks, so enough reason to launch a contest! Answer the below mentioned multiple … Continue reading
Two Directions.
It finally happened. One Direction are the first band in the world that have cloned themselves. By that I don’t mean they cloned themselves, they’re too stupid for that. It’s very likely their manager, Leader of the Four Horsemen (or … Continue reading
Tom Cruise’s Octo-Mom Impregnation.
Yeah we love the USA, land of milk, honey and unimaginable lawsuits! This time it’s Tom Cruise (you know, the man with the hair helmet) who is on the receiving end of some very likely charges. A guy who calls … Continue reading
Justin Bieber’s Penis Enlargement.
Selena Gomez’s father finally spilled some inside intelligence on JB’s mental instability. Here are some (very cynically, these are not all of them) of the juicy details. For example, did you know: “Bieber has cost Selena Gomez’s father $426.78 and … Continue reading
Canadian Cousins Alert.
Tony DiMaio/startraksphoto.com; Jason Merritt/Getty Images I knew it. I fucking knew it. Mental illness clearly runs in this Canadian family. Researchers at Ancestry.com have discovered some extremely surprising news: pop singer Justin Bieber is cousins with Ryan Gosling and Avril … Continue reading
Burka Ninja Muslim Terror Samurai Stealth Squad.
My list of cool women keeps growing at a disturbing rate. It’s not sane. Especially Muslim women are getting adamant about what exactly is written in the Koran. An Iranian cleric said he was beaten by a woman in the … Continue reading
Fuck You Sushi.
Another case of stupid fucking ass wipers trying to tell us how to behave. And I thought this could only happen in the USA. Fuck you, judge Kirkland Casgrain! FUKYU! Read the story on montrealgazette.com. Are you opening a restaurant … Continue reading