Raunchy Mike’s Incredible Bieber Bashaton Extravaganza: Lebanon.
Dear fuckers and fuckettes,
I swear I’m not fucking kidding… One day after my last posting my computer was invaded by an evil virus that made the power supply burst. I’m telling you, the FBI is after me more than Paris Hilton is after mind-numbing attention.
So no more countdowns (that will only warn them). Raunchy Mike’s Incredible Bieber Bashaton Extravaganza starts right now!
Take a look at this SHOCKING news!!! www.thestar.com .
Yeah… I know… It’s adorable.
Just a few years ago our little Bieberino was still scratching his cute little head, looking at his crotch in amazement, wandering how the hell these two weird balls ended up in his scrotum with that cute look of raging panic in those funny bunny eyes. Now he is swearing to women in airplanes.
I’m starting to like him.
One person who is liking The Bieber everyday less is Dax Shepard. You don’t know him? Don’t worry, he’s an actor. Actors are the scum of the earth. His comment to the arrival of JB in his hood: ”The music and the parties and the paparazzi, I mean, it’s like living in Lebanon now.”
Lebanon? LEBANON???
You know nothing about Lebanon, DAX! You never rolled around in a ditch filled with puke, goat shit, black toe nails, decomposing crack whores and talking ponies! What kind of name is that anyway, DAX??
Anyway.
Well, fuckers and fuckettes, that’s it for today! I’ll see you tomorrow at a new episode of Raunchy Mike’s Incredible Bieber Bashaton Extravaganza. Don’t miss it or your hamster will die!
PS. You can still send in your suggestions to my personal assistant Deirdre at Raunchy Contacts. She HAS panties and she WILL fucking send ‘em to you.