Panda Death Match.
I think I might have accidentally murdered a panda bear this morning. I was going to work when he suddenly popped up in front of me, just like Justin Bieber does in all his video clips. He asked for a cigaret. I told him to “fuck off and drown in a cesspool of vomit, sweat, urine, choco pops, vomit, worms, zebra brains, lukewarm beer, vomit, ass hair, mashed potatoes with too much milk in it, vomit, pubic hair, jock saliva, dead people and vomit”. He didn’t take it too well and looked at me funny. So I had to stick an infected fork in his brain (through the eye ball).
Are you missing a panda bear or did you find a dead panda bear in a canal next to your home? Send your address details to my personal assistant Deirdre here: Raunchy Contacts ,and she will send you her panties. She’s very clean.